Why “No” is the Best Word in the Human Language
Now, I know what you may be thinking. Okay, actually I don’t. However, I know how I felt when someone first told this to me. I think it was along the lines of, “what a jerk, I’m never asking this person for help with anything.” Which I would assume would be a relatively normal response, but I am a tad bit of an over-reactor so maybe not. Anyways, as I got to thinking, I decided that this person was less jerk and more genius. And here’s why:
1. Productivity is apparently needed in life. This is the one I struggle with the most. It’s called the “saying-no-so-you-can-do-your-actual-job” no. Here is what you do: When you are asked to do something, participate in something, work on a project, that isn’t actually applicable to your job, your life, what have you, AND could hinder you finishing your job, your life, what have you–say NO. You’re reading this and saying, “Well, duh.” Reevaluate your past week though, how many times did you say yes to something that took precedence over your own work? Here is why it’s awesome: First off, this isn’t mean. Telling someone you don’t have enough time and energy to put into their work isn’t mean, it’s truthful. And if you can’t offer 100% of your efforts, you shouldn’t be saying yes anyway. So instead of half-doing multiple things, you can 100% do one thing (the most important thing) and do a wonderful job.
2. You’ll resent a lot less. Maybe this is a woman thing. Not that I’m stereotyping. But I am. (To be fair though, it’s our culture’s fault, and for a minute I’m just going to roll with it.) If a million people ask me to do things, I say yes to all of them, and then I don’t get my own work done? I sit there and stew. And say mean things…in my mind, with sometimes explicit words (like crap, and dang it, get your mind out of the gutter friend, this is a PG post). For my overall health, of not just myself, but also my relationships with others, it is better to say one “no” that they may not even remember as opposed to resenting them for months to come because I missed a deadline.
3. You’ll be excited to partake in projects. All of these truly snowball off each other, but it is important in itself. I was just reading in a book about how people live their “liveswithoutaspacebar.” Running themselves into the ground so frequently, and never just finding that space in between activities. When you say “no,” watch that space show up. It’s fantastic. It’s loving. It makes it easier to read long sentences. You’ll also find that when you go to do work, the work won’t be so overwhelming, instead, you’ll be excited to get it done.
4. You’ll find that your days are a lot less exhausting, and even rather energizing. This snowball is just getting bigger and bigger. I swear each of these are individual! I’m not just saying the same thing four times. They all have their own slight difference. You’ve got to pay attention to the nuances, they’re important. If point 2 and 3 had a baby, it would be this point. Just say “no,” find the space, and find yourself. That just got a little self-help bookish, but it’s applicable. When you aren’t run into the ground, you won’t just be a better worker, you will be better to work with, to live with, to be around. You know those people you run into that seem like they are so stressed that if you scared them they may just pee themselves? Or like their hair is actually frizzing just because of their tumultuous emotional roller coaster they are putting themselves through? Don’t be them. It’s not worth it. You don’t want to pee yourself, and while big hair was a fad in the 80’s, it actually is over now.
Have a wonderful week, readers, and take care of yourselves.